just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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