She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize