So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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