Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
