If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
