its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize