Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
