he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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