I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
