I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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