He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why do cheetos always look like penises
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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