is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
