Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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