I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
FUCK WHALES
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
