Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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