she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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