I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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