I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
