You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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