Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
