She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are two peas in an std pod
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
