My sheets look like a crime scene.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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