She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
