Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
