I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize