dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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