Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
