I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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