this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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