So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
