I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
