he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
