He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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