You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
