if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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