Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
