I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
