So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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