It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
