If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
