I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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