I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize