i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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