What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.