But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
