I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
