i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
