It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
