well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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