everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize