For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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