R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
