I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
