is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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