she looked like the bat from fern gully.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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