I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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