I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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Are my feet made of real feet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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