Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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