If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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