She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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