I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry about my life...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize